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Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Life and Trials of TaTas - Clitorisandrea

So let's get serious for a moment.

I've been holding back a secret in my life, something that's just too hard to talk about. I was born a Siamese Twin. We were connected at the bow and after 14 long grueling surgeries we were finally separated. Unfortunately she lost a lot of her brain during these surgeries and was left mentally challenged. On the bright side, her bow still looked awesome.

Her name is Clitorisandrea named after our grandmother who migrated here from Swaziland. She was a witch doctor in the Pygmy Tribe. Anytranny, Clitorisandrea went missing exactly a year ago to this day. It's been a heartbreaking year for our family and we are still on the hunt to find where she has run off to. She was last seen on Polk and Larkin streets outside divas waiting for me to finish some business I was attending to inside (before all my new-found fame). Don't Judge.

We still have high hopes she will be found so we want to urge you to look hard and close at this image of her and if ANYONE knows ANYTHING that would lead me to find my long lost twin sister. There is a reward if anyone has information. It is one full night with TaTas... FREE :)

Height: 4'9"
Weight: 47 lbs
Hair Color: Brown
Eyes: Pink/Brown
Breast Cup: B's
Attitude: Sexual

She usually walks with a limp and her head tilts to the left. She loves dark makeup and may be living with a group of gothic homeless teenagers that she used to do black magic with. I haven't seen them in a while.

Hairbows and Kisses, Lady TaTas


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

New Website - Coming Soon

EXCITING NEWS! I have bought and will have an amazing site on there soon! Right now it shows this image and also has a link to my facebook and e-mail.

It will be posted on here once the site is fully up and ready!

I'm a Cartoon!

My friend Andrew Bochniak drew this cartoon version of me! I am in love with it! I added some color to make it even more fun! Hope you all enjoy it!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Life and Trials of TaTas - The Beggining

So each week I plan on writing a background story of my life. My people ask where TaTas comes from and I would like to give everyone my whole life story! Unfortunately my life story would take a lifetime to tell you all, so I will have one story each week exploring my life. These stories will be titled "The Life and Trials of TaTas". They are all very interesting, so check back regularly to enjoy learning about how a young TaTas grew to be this beautiful Lady she is today!

The Birth.

As most people know already, I have two mothers. They are not really lesbians, but you know, everyone has their lesbo moments. How could I have not been created when I had two moms that were as beautiful as mine? From what I have been told by my moms, it was a warm summer night in July of 19--, in San Francisco. Miss Juanita Fajita walked into The Cinch Saloon and sat at the bar to order her Stoli Soda when out walked this ray of punk drag light. Juanita couldn't even focus on the trick she had brought with her on her date. This goddess dressed in all black captivated her and wouldn't let go. When she walked by Juanita asked her what her name was. "Lucy Borden", she replied. Juanita quickly blurted back, "Our child would be stunningly beautiful!". The flirting continued for the rest of the night until there were 17 empty stoli soda glasses laying in front of Juanita. Next thing you know they are downstairs in the decorations closet creating me!

Unfortunately it was a one night stand and for months they did not talk. Juanita was on a business trip to a Taco Factory in Peru when a local witch doctor told her congratulations on her upcoming child. She then realized that it wasn't water weight keeping her out of her favorite pancho, it was ME! After returning home, she contacted Lucy to tell her the shocking news. Lucy at first didn't want anything to do with the baby, but after her maternal instincts started kicking in, she desperately wanted help mother this child, even if it was with a slutty one night stand who smelled like tacos.

When April came around, Juanita looked like an immaculate piƱata! The doctors told her that she and Lucy were having a healthy baby girl and that it was like nothing they had scene before. Being worried, Juanita asked why it was different. The doctors explained that there is a rare genetic disorder that only 3 times had ever been seen. This disorder causes the hair of the person to curl up and around the top of the head forming a bow-like pattern. Lucy started crying because of the fear that this new child would be made fun of it's whole life, but Juanita calmed her down and explained that loving this child would be the most important thing for this child. They both then decided that living together as a family would be necessary.

Finally after 86 hours of labor, I was born! The doctors had one last curve-ball thrown at them. I had abnormally large breasts. While this is a blessing now, it wasn't growing up, as you all will learn about as more of these life stories are told. Juanita and Lucy looked at each other and wondered what to name this miracle child. Lucy wanted to name me after her great grandmother Lady Borden. While Juanita wanted me to be named for my special features that no other baby had been born with. They came to an agreement that I would be named Lady TaTas.

And that's how I was born! Not as crazy as you expected, eh?

Monday, January 25, 2010

Performance on Feb 6th

I will be performing on February 6th at The Edge Bar in the Castro. Directly across the street from Toad Hall on the corner of 18th and Collingwood. This is a charity event to help support the rebuilding of Haiti. The event is from 4pm-7pm and I will be doing an awesome performance! Come enjoy! Also I will be going out afterwards, so come join in the festivities and help a great cause!

Steamworks Hidden Cams

So I DON'T know how these photos hit the internet? I was just having a normal sunday brunch at Steamworks and I guess the paparazzi were hiding everywhere. Luckily I found the light in each shot and all my friends/sex slaves look hot. And now Wet and Wild is using these to advertise there AMAZING party on February 20th. Here's 5 the intrusive photos that leaked.

The rest of the 14 are located here.

Saturday, January 23, 2010


Welcome to the new Lady TaTas Blog! I will have all the updates of my life as they happen!