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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Life and Trials of TaTas - The Beggining

So each week I plan on writing a background story of my life. My people ask where TaTas comes from and I would like to give everyone my whole life story! Unfortunately my life story would take a lifetime to tell you all, so I will have one story each week exploring my life. These stories will be titled "The Life and Trials of TaTas". They are all very interesting, so check back regularly to enjoy learning about how a young TaTas grew to be this beautiful Lady she is today!

The Birth.



As most people know already, I have two mothers. They are not really lesbians, but you know, everyone has their lesbo moments. How could I have not been created when I had two moms that were as beautiful as mine? From what I have been told by my moms, it was a warm summer night in July of 19--, in San Francisco. Miss Juanita Fajita walked into The Cinch Saloon and sat at the bar to order her Stoli Soda when out walked this ray of punk drag light. Juanita couldn't even focus on the trick she had brought with her on her date. This goddess dressed in all black captivated her and wouldn't let go. When she walked by Juanita asked her what her name was. "Lucy Borden", she replied. Juanita quickly blurted back, "Our child would be stunningly beautiful!". The flirting continued for the rest of the night until there were 17 empty stoli soda glasses laying in front of Juanita. Next thing you know they are downstairs in the decorations closet creating me!

Unfortunately it was a one night stand and for months they did not talk. Juanita was on a business trip to a Taco Factory in Peru when a local witch doctor told her congratulations on her upcoming child. She then realized that it wasn't water weight keeping her out of her favorite pancho, it was ME! After returning home, she contacted Lucy to tell her the shocking news. Lucy at first didn't want anything to do with the baby, but after her maternal instincts started kicking in, she desperately wanted help mother this child, even if it was with a slutty one night stand who smelled like tacos.

When April came around, Juanita looked like an immaculate piƱata! The doctors told her that she and Lucy were having a healthy baby girl and that it was like nothing they had scene before. Being worried, Juanita asked why it was different. The doctors explained that there is a rare genetic disorder that only 3 times had ever been seen. This disorder causes the hair of the person to curl up and around the top of the head forming a bow-like pattern. Lucy started crying because of the fear that this new child would be made fun of it's whole life, but Juanita calmed her down and explained that loving this child would be the most important thing for this child. They both then decided that living together as a family would be necessary.



Finally after 86 hours of labor, I was born! The doctors had one last curve-ball thrown at them. I had abnormally large breasts. While this is a blessing now, it wasn't growing up, as you all will learn about as more of these life stories are told. Juanita and Lucy looked at each other and wondered what to name this miracle child. Lucy wanted to name me after her great grandmother Lady Borden. While Juanita wanted me to be named for my special features that no other baby had been born with. They came to an agreement that I would be named Lady TaTas.

And that's how I was born! Not as crazy as you expected, eh?

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